Ponder

I am so troubled tonight, and I don't even know what I'm troubled over. Do you ever get those moments, where life is good, everything is fine and in place, but for some odd reason, something gnaws at you? Like some foreboding event, something not so good, or fine, or in place is looming just around the corner. I'm fidgety, I can't concentrate, my mind is a whirlwind tonight, and I can't sit still long enough to even pray. I have so many questions, so many that have gone unanswered for years. I always think about that book that my Api bought for me. The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Albom talks about "personal heavens." I know there isn't actually a personal heaven but I understand what he means. We all have that special place in our hearts, that embraces a favorite memory, or a favorite moment. For me, my personal heaven would be just my little Liger and I spending time playing and discovering things together. Like in AI, where the boy got to have his mom back for one whole day, and they got to do just anything they wanted, and all he did was simply enjoy her presence and wallow in the comfort of her love. Every season in life can each bring a personal heaven of its own. I had one a long time ago before Liger was born, before German and I got married, before Claudia and I stopped being friends. All I will say is Las Olas means something very differently to me now than it did back then. I will never forget that season in my life.